Recap of the Survivor Roast of Rob Cesternino

To those of you expecting the rest of the cast analysis, I apologize; Ethan and I did something a little different and made an audio recording of the two of us talking about the final 9 castaways, but uploading it has been a little difficult. Hopefully I'll have that for you sometime tomorrow, and it may well be worth the wait.

You will soon learn that I am a huge Rob Has a Podcast fan, and if you don't know what that is, you should absolutely check it out right now. Rob had a roast tonight in L.A., and I just finished watching the live streaming of it. If you missed it and you want to catch it, there may or may not be a video later, but Rob is going to put up the audio on his website probably tomorrow.

Survivors in attendance were Rob, Parvati (the roastmaster), Sophie, Tyson, Mikey B., John Fincher, Aras, and Abi-Maria. Things started off pretty intensely when Primetime Alex Stein #99 (sorry if you don't get the joke) crashed the stage, claiming he should be on Survivor and then insisting on eating a lit cigarette to prove...what?

Parvati seemed to love it and it was pretty funny and totally spontaneous, although I feel like they should have gotten him off the stage sooner. Anyway, then they started up the roast, which was very good; for all the critics out there, they're not trained comedians! Although I agree they didn't seem very prepared.

Here are the highlight jokes (if you're planning on listening to the roast, don't read this and spoil it for yourself!):

Parvati:
"Sophie Clarke...she was the first woman to make it 33 days with Brandon Hantz...and not get pregnant."
"You all remember how Aras blew all his money on tundra hats...just like how Laura M. blew...oh, never mind."
"If John Fincher is really a rocket scientist, then the world's chance of building a rocket is really f*****!"
[To Rob] "You've been in charge of more s***** releases than John Cochran's pants in kindergarten."

Sophie: "Guess who's a huge fan [of your podcast]? Christy Smith........I hope she doesn't hear about this."

John: [Talking about Tyson] "Nothing says challenge competitor like getting your shoulder dislocated by someone dumb enough to f*** Kat Edorsson!"

Mikey B: "Aras, I though he was a smart guy, but he started selling winter hats in Santa Monica...that's like selling condoms to Parvati."

Abi: "This is the best Survivor roast ever since Mike Skupin on the Australian Outback!"

Aras: [To Parvati] "You're beautiful, you're intelligent...if you were a chick, I'd totally bang you!"

Tyson: "Mikey, I googled you. Nothing came up."

Rob:
"I'm concerned about Sophie's love life...Dawn's teeth get taken out more!"
"Mikey B. was actually an alternate for Survivor Blood vs Water...finale tickets."
[To Tyson] "You won immunity this season and let Jeff Probst knight you...this was the best performance by a Survivor on their knees since the Jenna Lewis sex tape...and she got a necklace at the end of that too!"

Overall, it was a great show. Other highlights included Aras's rendition of Tighty Whities, everyone blaming bad jokes on Cochran, and drunken Abi's entire performance; she was winging it and throwing jokes into the crowd, and her comments during other people's turns were also great.

If you haven't seen/listened to it, I highly suggest you check it out; as I said, the audio at least will be available tomorrow. Also hopefully tomorrow, our audio from the cast preview will be up. Talk to you again soon!