 |
| Your new winner! |
"Ok, look. Look. Look. I had to do what I did, see, 'cause..."
Tony, it's ok. The show's over. You won.
"Come on, my friends. If this young lad over here had sworn on more things--"
Tony, you win! You can stop deceiving people!
"BLAFKALAKLFLFLFLFLLLLLAAAAA. That's right, Kass."
Tony...the season is OVER!
"Oh...oh ok. But, see, I was a construction worker the whole time, see. Lemme get out my bag of tricks..."
But really...what a great cap on a magnificent season, right? Cagayan culminated in an epic finale that I thoroughly enjoyed. And when all the dust settled, Woo made a million dollar mistake and Tony was crowned Sole Survivor number 27. Let's recap it from the top. (Image credit CBS)
 |
| I enjoyed Jeff's live show changes to the finale. |
I was a little disappointed that we didn't get any standout characters like Skupin's son or Cochran's mom and dad. The star of the four, though, was probably Spencer's sister Taren (?), who had complete faith in Spencer during the challenge.
We also saw a softer side of Tony. He broke into tears upon realizing that his wife was not there; instead, his best friend Arnold told Tony that she was at home with their baby. I thought for a moment that we were going to get a Johnny Fairplay-esque lie there, but no.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for an important message from...Jeff Probst!
"Hey, people on the street. It's Jeff, backstage in the green room with the Survivors. Ok, now back to the show. The Survivors are going to have to dig deep!"
In all honesty, though, I enjoyed Jeff's live show changes to the finale. He popped in and out just the right amount...about four times, I think. This was probably the least interesting of the four, simply because nothing happened.
It's immunity time. The Survivors have to repeat a challenge that I recall seeing from Micronesia; pour water in a bucket to raise a key to the top of their pole, jump off, and then solve a puzzle on the beach...except, Tony can't swim.
 |
| How has he made it this far without needing to swim? |
But somehow, Chaos Kass comes from behind, quick as a flash, to take the win! She whipped through that puzzle crazy-fast, and I must say I was rooting for her. She attributed her success to her husband; good for her. Although Spencer does call her a brain-dead weasel.
Back at camp, there's one obvious target, and it's clear who's going home tonight. The target in question approaches Tony, and tells him something that could change Tony's mind; it's going to be a Final 2. This is one of those times where being a superfan of the game really helps Spencer out; he noticed that Jeff didn't say anything about a chance to plead your case at the Final Tribal Council.
Spencer's making some really good points, and Tony says he'll think it over. Spencer's right, really; if Kass or Woo win immunity, they're taking the other person to the end. This whole time, I thought Spencer was safe for sure; his edit clearly ensured him a spot at the Final Tribal Council, and I fully expected Tony to be fully swayed by Spencer's reasoning and vote Woo out.
But no! The editors bamboozled us Malcolm-style once again!!! This was the point where I was really shocked and impressed. I thought that even though the season had been full of twists and turns, we were going to get a relatively predictable finale, with Spencer winning two immunities and dragging Kass to the end, garnering all the votes.
But when my post-Sarah-vote-out pick to win went home (along with my number one spot on my fantasy tribe and any hope of winning my auction competition against Ethan), the finale started to get really crazy.
Because now...it was anyone's game! And I started to get a little worried that what Spencer prophesied would soon come to pass; a Kass and Woo Final 2. While it may rhyme nicely, it's not the ideal scenario by any stretch of the imagination.
Woo even says he'd "be the stupidest Survivor player ever" if he took Tony to the end, so there's no way he'll take him. Right? Right?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for an important message from...Jeff Probst!
 |
| Spencer's mom thought he'd be one of the first ones out. |
Right after Spencer is voted out, Jeff shows a Ponderosa-esque clip of Spencer's walk and weighing on the scale, and then interviews Spencer's mom, who gets a laugh when she says she thought he'd be one of the first ones out.
Not bad. Then, of course, he has to talk to two random guys that drove from Oklahoma to Los Angeles in 24 hours to get to the finale, and an Afghanistan veteran. Cool, I guess.
Back to the game. It's time for...a maze! Wooooooo! We haven't seen this challenge (or a similar variant) since the Heroes vs. Villains finale, if I remember correctly. Possibly Redemption Island, actually; I didn't watch it.
This certainly beats the Philippines "hold up a ball with a stick that gets longer" final immunity, the fire puzzle Caramoan final immunity, and even the impressive obstacle course immunity in Blood vs. Water. I especially liked all the turnstiles.
When all the dust has settled, Kass loses to Woo in the cog-assembling section of the challenge by half a second. This was really the moment that Tony won the game (or didn't lose it, I should say). If Kass had won the final immunity, there would be no way she'd keep Tony over Woo.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for an important message from...Jeff Probst!
 |
| Oh no, Jeff has an army of kids. |
Oh my god, Jeff has an army of little kids. Oh no. What is he going to do?
He ends up asking them questions about their history of watching Survivor and the Survivor fandom...I actually enjoyed it. Wow, Jeff; you're impressing me.
This was the part of the finale where I really felt bad for Woo. You could see the cogs in his brain whirring at a speed many times slower than the cogs in the challenge, as the mastermind Tony worked on him all afternoon.
Tony's argument is that Woo can't argue that he has honesty and loyalty to the jury if he betrays Tony now, which is true, I guess, but Woo can't beat Tony anyway. Kass just warns him that she won't vote for Woo in the Final 2 if she's put on the jury, and compares him to Fabio (pretty accurate in my opinion).
Even Tony says he wouldn't buy his own argument, and would take his chances with Kass. Yeah, there's no way that Woo falls for this one, right? I think Tony's going home right about...
Aaaaaand there goes Kass. Woo, no! Woo just lost a million dollars by voting out Kass, the easiest finals goat in a long time.
 |
| Woo just lost a million dollars. |
Woo's rationale was that the jury will respect him for making a "big move" by voting out Kass and keeping around a worthy player. It's Colby all over again.
Around this point, I was thinking: Woo is the real Coach. And by that I mean he embodies all the ideals Coach was trying to exemplify, and had to go out of his way to point out. Coach pretended he was going to play with honesty and integrity, but was berated by the jury for failing to do that. If Coach really was going to back up all his talk of wanting to go to the end against the best, he would have taken Ozzy to the end and lost to him.
By contrast, Woo is effortlessly humble, kind, endearing, and loyal. He made the decision that Coach couldn't, that Colby did...which doomed both Colby and himself (although at least in Colby's case it was a close vote).
Anyway, at breakfast the next morning, Tony finds another clue. I cannot imagine what this might lead to...the million dollar cheque hidden in the woods? Four extra jury votes? A ticket to the next returning player season?
Just a scale and a mirror. I actually laughed when I saw this; I loved that they hid it, just for fun, instead of telling them about it.
Let me just mention (because I just remembered) that there was no Fallen Comrades walk! I was extremely disappointed; I always love this segment, and Jeff sadly confirmed that unless they can somehow revamp it, the Fallen Comrades has fallen. The Rites of Passage has passed. Rest in peace.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for an important message from...Jeff Probst!
 |
| Queen Parv! |
And Queen Parv! It's already good before they start talking. Jeff asks Parvati about the fatigue and rigors of the game, and she says that you need to make sure you're not defensive in front of the jury. A short tidbit, but a good touch.
Now it's time for the Final Tribal Council, at last. I'll just briefly go over each of these in my recap because it's getting long and Ethan and I will cover them more thoroughly in our podcast. I'll tell you who I thought they were going to vote for before the votes were read as well.
Sarah: Berates Tony for breaking his swear on his badge, and asks Woo who he would vote for if she had played his game. He says he would vote for Sarah. Huh.
Vote: Tony
Jefra: Says she's not bitter, but wants Tony to own that he backstabbed her, had no loyalty, and blindsided people. No BS! Tony says he flipped around and betrayed his alliance, but won't own up to backstabbing her and claims he's "half villain and half good player."
Vote: Woo
Morgan: Takes the opportunity to talk about how young and attractive she is, and wonders how Tony got men to follow him without even having breasts! Tony says he was genuine and nice to people. Morgan also says she respects Woo for taking Tony to the end.
Vote: Tony
Jeremiah: Finds out that Tony does indeed have a wife and kids, and says that "where he comes from," that's not cool...it's pathetic. Then he asks Woo to prove himself, and Woo says he wants to win. Duhhhh.
Vote: Woo
 |
| Some of the Survivor jury. |
Tasha: Asks a similar question to Morgan's, but without the boobs. Tony mentions that he regrets blindsiding Trish, which was a nice touch. Then she asks Woo about choosing to align with Tony, and Woo says he was forced to adapt.
Vote: Tony
LJ: Asks Tony "who are you?" Tony says that he was scared of LJ, but LJ says "you played me," and doesn't seem satisfied.
Vote: Woo
Kass: Wants to know why Woo didn't cut off the head of the dragon when he had the chance. Woo says it was a power move, and that Kass didn't deserve to sit next to him. Ouch.
Vote: Tony
Trish: First asks Woo if it was his idea to blindside her, to which he answers affirmatively, and then goes off on a great, emotional monologue against Tony. She asks whether it was worth it to sacrifice his own father's memory, and he says yes.
Vote: Woo
Spencer: Compares Woo's strategic game to a dog following its master and then addresses the jury, exhorting them to vote for Tony.
Vote: Tony
I had this at a close 5-4 vote for Tony, with Woo doing exceptionally well in nabbing a handful of them. But instead it was a blowout, with only Tasha voting for Tony, for some unknown reason.
 |
| Thanks for following our coverage of this terrific season! |
And Tony Vlachos officially becomes the winner of Survivor: Cagayan.
There's a fair amount of stuff to cover from the reunion, but I think we'll address all of that in our podcast. There's going to be at least one more wrap-up post of the entire season, plus one or two Survivor scrutinies and an Amazing Race finale scrutiny coming your way before we end our spring coverage (and a BBCAN Neda vs. Dan post too) and start to transition to our summer podcasting/blogging.
There's some international Amazing Race, Big Brother US, and old Survivor seasons to cover, so rest assured that Ethan and I will stay busy and keep bringing you content; stay tuned, and thanks for following our coverage of this terrific season!
No comments:
Post a Comment